Kerri's Thoughts 2

We are back from San Antonio and we had a good time.  It was really good to see Cris.  I think I am finally getting used to his smooth face (no mustache).  He seems very stressed and very tired.  He is looking forward to this training being over.  The boys ran up to him and was so happy to see him.  My heart just melts every time the boys see him and he gives them a big hug.  What a good Daddy. 

This week has been crazy.  Drove back Monday, had Gymnastics Tues night, Rie and Al on Wed night, Thurs Jacob had an eye doctor appt and then suddenly it is Friday.  Whew it went fast. 

Jacob has to have eye surgery.  His tear ducts aren't formed correctly (common to kids with DS).  We are going to have that done on Nov 6.  I am a little nervous about the anesthesia but I think the surgery will be okay.  Maybe he will quit having so many eye infections.

I still miss our life with Cris but I am functioning.  Cris is getting some training that he really needed and is happy to get.  I think it is overall very worth it but hard to remember when I am lonely.  The boys are doing pretty good.  I just love them to death and they are so fun to have with me.  I thank Cris for leaving me with two beautiful boys to have in my life.  He is missing a lot but again, probably all worth it.

Going scrapbooking tonight and just hope to have some fun!  Talk again soon.

The boys and I had a good weekend.  We did a little shopping and we got to spend time with my Brother.  We also spent some time with the boys Grandparents.  It was nice and it was good to take my mind of other things.

The boys and I are looking forward to seeing Cris this weekend.  We are going to San Antonio this weekend.  I hope we have a good trip and can spend some quality time with Cris.  I know the boys are looking forward to seeing Daddy.

Cris is having a hard time with school and him and I aren't really communicating very well right now.  I hope with all my heart that this changes soon.  He is taking his National Registry tests this week and he thinks that everything will calm down after this week.  I hope he starts to enjoy the school more and can feel a little less stressed out.

He is playing softball with the military starting last week.  I hope he enjoys that.  Right now he just seems very tired and run down.

Got to go to Durant, OK tomorrow.  I will talk again when I get back from San Antonio next week.

Well Wednesday was a good night.  I got to get my hair colored and cut.  I LOVE IT!  My new friend Katie did an excellent job.  I spoke with Cris for a little while.  He seems very tired but made an 86 on his final.  He still has his National Registry test to take next week.  He is a little worried about that I think.  I know he will do well.  He has lots more confidence now than he did years ago when he took it before.  He didn't get to talk to the boys, I think he probably went back to the barracks and went to sleep before the boys and I got home last night.  We will try again tonight.

The boys got to go to Rie's and Grandpa Al's last night and are going to Mawmaw & Pawpaw's tonight.  They go to Marley and Chuckie's every night (to pick Jacob up from after school) so they are getting to see their Grandparents a lot.  They are very excited about that.  Jesse had to take the sleeping over sleeping bag to Mawmaw's tonight.  It has a water bottle (like he is going to be camping or hiking or something).  He says Mawmaw will fill it up for him.  They are very excited to see their very busy Pawpaw Jack too.

On an update for Jacob, he did very well in school yesterday, he had a couple of times where he didn't want to pay attention but other than that, no hitting, kicking, spitting or saying shut up!  Yeah.  I hope we can keep it up today too.

Will write again soon.

Jacob had a hard day at school yesterday.  He threw some shoes at his teacher and kicked a friend.  I received a note from his teacher and I scolded him about it pretty hard.  He seemed very remourseful and I talked with him about being nice to his teachers and friends.  I told him that I was sad and Daddy would be sad.  He started crying at that, he didn't like it if Daddy was sad.

I hope my scolding helped.  I am kind of at a loss as to what to do with him.  He is my biggest challenge right now.  I know he is depressed and sad.  I know he is frustrated.  I keep telling him that I love him and that we are going to see Daddy soon.  I just don't know how much of the Daddy stuff he understands.

Cris isn't calling home too much any more.  He says that his phone is messed up.  I don't know what is going on there but we don't like it much.  The boys don't get to say goodnight and I am feeling a little "out of his life".  He is very wrapped up in school and I know it has been very stressful for him but I am not sure he understands all of the impact not talking to the boys and me is having on our lives.  I don't want to pressure him too much but I don't know what to do.

I know he had a final yesterday, I hope he did well.  Maybe that is why he didn't call home last night.  We shall see.

Jesse did great in Gymnastics last night.  He seems to be picking up on the skill sets they are trying to teach.  He got to pick out a "Winner" metal last night.  You would not believe how much a little plastic metal would mean to a little boy.  He just loved it.  We had to hang it in my room so I could see it!  What a boy.  Jacob wanted to play too but I just don't think the gymanstics world is ready for Jacob yet.  I don't think he could follow the directions very much.  He would certainly have to have a helper.  I am thinking that maybe his new HTS in January might could do that with him?  We shall see. 

Well that is all for today. 

My husband Cris of 11 years (12 in February) has left for four months to do some training in San Antonio and was gone for a month prior to that to do some training in AR. 

I have two kids Jacob (6) and Jesse (4).  Both Boys are very sad that Dad is gone but Jacob is having the worst time of it.  Jacob has Down syndrome (DS).  He is developmentally delayed, which means he has cognitive issues with understanding things on his age level.  Developmentally he is about 4 years old (maybe younger in some thing and older in other things).  Jacob is a huge Daddy's boy and cannot understand why Daddy no come home.  He has speech delays too (although his speech is doing great and is getting better and better).  He has some health issues that come along with the DS and right now his "belly" hurts him all the time.  We have done ultrasounds and blood work, next we are meeting with a Gastrointestinal doctor to do a scan to see if there is something going on in there.  I don't know if there is actually something wrong or if he is doing this because he wants Daddy to come home and kiss it.

Jesse is a big helper and overall I am so glad I have the boys with me.  The last time Cris got activated Jacob was just under two, not walking and not talking too much (sign language mostly).  He just needed lots of love and support but couldn't be much company.  Now they are both great company and we try to do things to keep us from being too sad.

Jacob is acting out in school right now, I think part of it is that this is his first year in all day school (kindergarten) and he is having to adjust to that as well as Dad being gone.  I hope we can get him calmed down.  He is normally a very good natured child and just loves people and loves to make people happy.  I hope that part of him comes back.

I find the hardest part about Cris being gone is the companionship and just having someone to talk to about everyday things.  I have depended on him so much for everything.  He is my buddy and my friend as well as my husband and love.  I think it is hard to be without someone who means so much and all of a sudden they are out there but can't help you every day like they did before.